My new favorite number

Dear Jack,

So you are actually closer to 19 months now than 18 but I figured I would write you a letter anyways. And this is a special letter, because it's written on a special day. I feel like I want to climb on top of the roof and shout for all the world to hear that you have now been seizure free for two months. TWO WHOLE MONTHS! I've hesitated to say too much or to show my excitement because it could all change in an instant. I love looking at your seizure tracker and seeing a big fat Zero there every day. In fact, zero has become my new favorite number. And I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, we've found our miracle. We still have a long road ahead of us but when we hit the two year mark of you being seizure free, I think I really will climb on top of the roof to celebrate. Or maybe just take you to Disney.

The last 6 months have been exciting and challenging as you have successfully turned into a toddler. We wondered if you would ever walk as you waited just long enough to make me start to worry. But then you took off and now I have a hard time keeping up with you. In fact you like to move so much that running errands with you has become very difficult. The fact that you don't want to hold still coupled with the fact that I can't give you anything to eat in the shopping cart usually leaves me wanting to pull out my hair and buy some really good ear plugs. And we are at the grocery store several times a week because we always seem to need some kind of magic food for your diet.

You have also developed quite the vocabulary and are like a little parrot. The other evening we were driving home and got passed by a motorcycle that was going at least 100. Daddy yelled "idiot" really loudly and you promptly repeated it. It was very hard not to laugh. Thankfully, you haven't said it since and neither has daddy. You pick some funny words to say too, like purple and cracker. You don't eat crackers so I have no idea why you say it or what it means. You will also sit a the piano and play and sing, which is really stinkin' cute. I love it when you are in your crib in the mornings and you start singing the dada song. You make it up as you go along and it is clearly a song about dada. You could make up a song about mama on occasion too.

And speaking of your crib, lets talk about sleep for a moment. I really REALLY appreciate it when you sleep until at least 7. I can't complain about 6 because for months you woke up at 5 on the dot but on days when you sleep until 8 or 8:30, I feel like I've won the lottery. Because I'm up late preparing your meals, cooking, putting dishes away, weighing out things and trying to figure out how the heck to get the exact number of grams of egg in the bowl because eggs are so dang sticky that it's next to impossible to get the right amount. A little sleep-in is much appreciated.

So my big boy, and when I say big I mean the average size of a 2.5 year old, we are still keeping a close eye on you between the heart tumors and the seizures (or lack there of). I'm still nervous and stressed and this parenting thing has taken me on a whole new road that I didn't expect, but I couldn't have asked for a better kid to go on it with. You are amazing and sweet and funny. I love how you say "weeeee" when you go down a slide and how at story time at the library you have to hug every other mom there, you little flirt. You make me smile every day and because of you I am so thankful for all that we have and for every day that I get to be your mom.

Love,
mama