Thursday, October 3, 2013

Dear mom,

One year ago today I was sitting in the waiting room of the OB's office waiting for my 1st appointment with him about the new pregnancy.  My phone rang, I was told to be at the hospital you were at within an hour because you weren't going to make it much longer.

That was a bad day.  

Most of the time I don't dwell on how un-fair it is that you died when you did.  You were 58.  You had 3 tiny grandchildren and one on the way.  For the most part you were healthy and active.  Yet for some unknow reason, your time was up.  

I hate that you will never meet Maggie.  She is amazing, and beautiful, and she has your beautiful blue eyes.  You would be so in love with her.  I think the saddest part is that all 4 of your grandchildren will grow up not knowing you.  I hope the older two retain some memory of you, but there is definetly someone missing.  

Jack still talks about you often.  He asks for you to come out of heaven to visit.  He says he wants to go to heaven to visit you.  He misses you too and I wish I knew how to make it better for him.  You would be so proud of him.  He is doing amazingly well. 

I still have times when I reach for the phone to call you and I even found myself driving over to your house not too long ago.  

I have to wrap this up because the baby is up and wants attention.  I have managed to keep your african violets alive.  The only time one of them bloomed was the week Maggie was born.  They are healthy, I just can't figure out why they won't bloom.  

I miss you and I love you

(Gigi and tiny baby Jack)