Dear baby boy,
In a few hours you will officially be 24 months old. As I sit here typing this, I remember this time 2 years ago, timing contractions on my iphone. I had been having contraction for 5 hours and waited another 4 to go to the hospital only to be sent home because they told me I "wasn't in real labor". When the doctor told me that I wanted to punch him in the face. Not "real" labor? But I settled for waking him up at 5 am to scream at him that I need drugs NOW! Your birth will always be one of my favorite memories, it is what made us a family. You will never live down that it took 27 hours though. But it was when I knew I had done what I was always supposed to do... become a mommy.
We have been through a lot in the last 2 years. The medical stuff has added a lot of un-expected stress, but we continue to remind ourselves how lucky we are. You continue to amaze your doctors! Your neurologist thinks you are the cutest thing ever, and that is a medical opinion. He actually said at our last visit, "there is NOTHING wrong with this child" and he said it while laughing at how you were flirting will all of the females in the room.
And speaking of flirting, you are clearly a ladies man. It's really funny how you still gravitate towards the ladies. You are also the most polite little boy I have ever met. You know how and when to say "please" and "thank you" and you also blow kisses at the appropriate times too.
You of course have your opinions on things and do throw the occasional tantrum, but lets face it, you really are a toddler now. I can't deny it any longer, as much as I would like to.
But your little personality is really coming out and it is awesome! Your dad and I were talking the other day about how you are a really good mix of the two of us. I think you got the best of both of us which is more than we could have ever asked. You are hysterical and KNOW when you are funny, which makes it even funnier. You are very much a boy and you laugh when anyone burps or farts, which again is hysterical and makes us laugh which makes you laugh even more. You totally get that from your father! You can also be very stubborn and determined, which you get from me, and I hope that it actually aids you in dealing with all of the things in life that you are going to have to deal with. You have this great desire to explore and go at thing full force, but you are careful (most of the time) with things like climbing and steps and aware of what might hurt. Accept when you're around a swimming pool, then you just jump in and start swimming. You might have gotten that from me too :-)
Your vocabulary continues to grow on a daily basis and we are so glad that you have finally decided to talk! I love it when you see something and say, "WOW!" It's so cute. You also like to say, "tickle tickle tickle" when we take your socks off. People continue to tell us how cute you are. Your hair is amazing, your eyes are beautiful, and you are so friendly and sweet that everyone just falls in love with you. I kind of expect for people to fall for babies like that, but they are still falling all over you. And I have a feeling, that they will continue to and at some point I will be worried about it instead of thinking it's cute. Right now it's very cute for you to kiss all the girls at playgroup, but when you come home bragging that you kissed all the girls in kindergarten.... that might be another story.
So my dear boy, as we approach the hour of your birth, I may be a little weepy but it's only because of how much I love you. Because of how much you amaze me. Because of how perfect you are. Because of how much you have taught me and how you made us a family. Every day I am glad to be your mom. Every day is a new adventure and it's so great to watch you discover new things, even if it does start a little earlier than I think it should. To watch you learn how to communicate and to watch you interact with the world around you is what I look forward to every day. You make life so much fun little guy and I am thankful every day that I have you and that you are exactly who you are.
Happy Birthday Sweet Pea!
Love,
Mama
Showing posts with label news letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news letter. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
22 months
Dear Jack,
A few days ago you turned 22 months old. And while I am always amazed at how quickly time passes I am painfully aware that your 2nd birthday is only 2 months away and that before long you will be a full fledged toddler. Holy crap!
We have had a lot of doctor's appointments this month, the most important being with the neurologist. Because you are still having some seizures, we are increasing your ratio on the diet which means more fat. How is that possible, one might ask. Well, it's been an adjustment. And around the same time you decided that you were going to fight about eating at every one of your meals. I can't even count the number of times that I've had to leave the room to calm down enough to come back and encourage you to eat. And I've even had to literally force-feed you a few time, which is awful. For both of us.
I spent about 8 hours of cooking over 2 days to re-stock the freezer and have a bit in there to pull from. Right after doing that you decided that you don't want ANY of those meals. You now refuse to eat eggs too, which used to be your all-time favorite and our go-to food if we couldn't get anything down you. For the most part you have been a very good eater, but the last few weeks have been challenging to say the least. You have also had a runny nose for the last 3 weeks so it's impossible to tell if the lack of interest in eating is because of the snot or the ratio change.
But that being said, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Ok, a cure, I'd trade it for that. Anyways, it has helped you so much and our lives are very normal most of the time. Sure it involves a lot of cooking and planning and thinking but it has given us such a reduction is seizures that we can go to playgroup, we can have a trip to the park without worrying that you're going to fall because of a seizure, and it had reduced the worry to the point that we can plan and do normal kid things. If we can get these last few ironed out, I would be the happiest mommy on the planet.
And I don't regret any of it for a second. I sometimes worry that people will look at our struggles and think that we somehow love you less, or wish you were different. Knowing what we could be dealing with, you are nothing short of a living, breathing, miracle. I haven't held back in sharing what we're going through because it might help others and because there is no point in hiding the challenges or pretending that we don't worry. But our love for you has never faltered baby boy. In fact, I think that it is because we love you so much that we worry and struggle sometimes. But because of you, I am a better person. Because of TSC I have so much more compassion then I ever did before. I certainly never knew how strong I was until you came along. The love of a mother is an amazingly strong force, even a little scary at times and I never knew I was capable of loving someone like that.
You are the sweetest child I know. You love to give hugs, blow kisses, say thank you, help put your dishes away after eating and sometimes you even help clean up your toys. You can light up a room and make anyone smile. You are the biggest flirt on the planet and always try your hardest to get the attention of any girl around. You always do something to melt my heart and even when I'm frustrated with your toddler ways, you are the cutest thing on the planet.
We have started taking swimming lessons again and are having a blast. There are only 2 other kids in the class and you are a rock star. You jump in and swim while holding your breath for 4 seconds without thinking it's a big deal at all. You start to sing the song before the instructor even does and you are a back float champion. They have never seen a little boy so comfortable and content to float on his back in the water like you do.
You saw snow yesterday for the 2nd time and you weren't too impressed. All you wanted to do was swing but your swing was filled with snow and when you shook your glove off to clean out the swing you cried because it was cold.
The other thing you are really into doing is dancing. Man, can you boogie. We don't watch TV often, but sometimes I put on Veggie Tales just to watch you do this to the opening music.
I love you my sweet monkey, more than you will ever know.
Mama
A few days ago you turned 22 months old. And while I am always amazed at how quickly time passes I am painfully aware that your 2nd birthday is only 2 months away and that before long you will be a full fledged toddler. Holy crap!
We have had a lot of doctor's appointments this month, the most important being with the neurologist. Because you are still having some seizures, we are increasing your ratio on the diet which means more fat. How is that possible, one might ask. Well, it's been an adjustment. And around the same time you decided that you were going to fight about eating at every one of your meals. I can't even count the number of times that I've had to leave the room to calm down enough to come back and encourage you to eat. And I've even had to literally force-feed you a few time, which is awful. For both of us.
I spent about 8 hours of cooking over 2 days to re-stock the freezer and have a bit in there to pull from. Right after doing that you decided that you don't want ANY of those meals. You now refuse to eat eggs too, which used to be your all-time favorite and our go-to food if we couldn't get anything down you. For the most part you have been a very good eater, but the last few weeks have been challenging to say the least. You have also had a runny nose for the last 3 weeks so it's impossible to tell if the lack of interest in eating is because of the snot or the ratio change.
But that being said, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Ok, a cure, I'd trade it for that. Anyways, it has helped you so much and our lives are very normal most of the time. Sure it involves a lot of cooking and planning and thinking but it has given us such a reduction is seizures that we can go to playgroup, we can have a trip to the park without worrying that you're going to fall because of a seizure, and it had reduced the worry to the point that we can plan and do normal kid things. If we can get these last few ironed out, I would be the happiest mommy on the planet.
And I don't regret any of it for a second. I sometimes worry that people will look at our struggles and think that we somehow love you less, or wish you were different. Knowing what we could be dealing with, you are nothing short of a living, breathing, miracle. I haven't held back in sharing what we're going through because it might help others and because there is no point in hiding the challenges or pretending that we don't worry. But our love for you has never faltered baby boy. In fact, I think that it is because we love you so much that we worry and struggle sometimes. But because of you, I am a better person. Because of TSC I have so much more compassion then I ever did before. I certainly never knew how strong I was until you came along. The love of a mother is an amazingly strong force, even a little scary at times and I never knew I was capable of loving someone like that.
You are the sweetest child I know. You love to give hugs, blow kisses, say thank you, help put your dishes away after eating and sometimes you even help clean up your toys. You can light up a room and make anyone smile. You are the biggest flirt on the planet and always try your hardest to get the attention of any girl around. You always do something to melt my heart and even when I'm frustrated with your toddler ways, you are the cutest thing on the planet.
We have started taking swimming lessons again and are having a blast. There are only 2 other kids in the class and you are a rock star. You jump in and swim while holding your breath for 4 seconds without thinking it's a big deal at all. You start to sing the song before the instructor even does and you are a back float champion. They have never seen a little boy so comfortable and content to float on his back in the water like you do.
You saw snow yesterday for the 2nd time and you weren't too impressed. All you wanted to do was swing but your swing was filled with snow and when you shook your glove off to clean out the swing you cried because it was cold.
The other thing you are really into doing is dancing. Man, can you boogie. We don't watch TV often, but sometimes I put on Veggie Tales just to watch you do this to the opening music.
I love you my sweet monkey, more than you will ever know.
Mama
Thursday, October 21, 2010
My new favorite number
Dear Jack,
So you are actually closer to 19 months now than 18 but I figured I would write you a letter anyways. And this is a special letter, because it's written on a special day. I feel like I want to climb on top of the roof and shout for all the world to hear that you have now been seizure free for two months. TWO WHOLE MONTHS! I've hesitated to say too much or to show my excitement because it could all change in an instant. I love looking at your seizure tracker and seeing a big fat Zero there every day. In fact, zero has become my new favorite number. And I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, we've found our miracle. We still have a long road ahead of us but when we hit the two year mark of you being seizure free, I think I really will climb on top of the roof to celebrate. Or maybe just take you to Disney.
The last 6 months have been exciting and challenging as you have successfully turned into a toddler. We wondered if you would ever walk as you waited just long enough to make me start to worry. But then you took off and now I have a hard time keeping up with you. In fact you like to move so much that running errands with you has become very difficult. The fact that you don't want to hold still coupled with the fact that I can't give you anything to eat in the shopping cart usually leaves me wanting to pull out my hair and buy some really good ear plugs. And we are at the grocery store several times a week because we always seem to need some kind of magic food for your diet.
You have also developed quite the vocabulary and are like a little parrot. The other evening we were driving home and got passed by a motorcycle that was going at least 100. Daddy yelled "idiot" really loudly and you promptly repeated it. It was very hard not to laugh. Thankfully, you haven't said it since and neither has daddy. You pick some funny words to say too, like purple and cracker. You don't eat crackers so I have no idea why you say it or what it means. You will also sit a the piano and play and sing, which is really stinkin' cute. I love it when you are in your crib in the mornings and you start singing the dada song. You make it up as you go along and it is clearly a song about dada. You could make up a song about mama on occasion too.
And speaking of your crib, lets talk about sleep for a moment. I really REALLY appreciate it when you sleep until at least 7. I can't complain about 6 because for months you woke up at 5 on the dot but on days when you sleep until 8 or 8:30, I feel like I've won the lottery. Because I'm up late preparing your meals, cooking, putting dishes away, weighing out things and trying to figure out how the heck to get the exact number of grams of egg in the bowl because eggs are so dang sticky that it's next to impossible to get the right amount. A little sleep-in is much appreciated.
So my big boy, and when I say big I mean the average size of a 2.5 year old, we are still keeping a close eye on you between the heart tumors and the seizures (or lack there of). I'm still nervous and stressed and this parenting thing has taken me on a whole new road that I didn't expect, but I couldn't have asked for a better kid to go on it with. You are amazing and sweet and funny. I love how you say "weeeee" when you go down a slide and how at story time at the library you have to hug every other mom there, you little flirt. You make me smile every day and because of you I am so thankful for all that we have and for every day that I get to be your mom.
Love,
mama
So you are actually closer to 19 months now than 18 but I figured I would write you a letter anyways. And this is a special letter, because it's written on a special day. I feel like I want to climb on top of the roof and shout for all the world to hear that you have now been seizure free for two months. TWO WHOLE MONTHS! I've hesitated to say too much or to show my excitement because it could all change in an instant. I love looking at your seizure tracker and seeing a big fat Zero there every day. In fact, zero has become my new favorite number. And I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, we've found our miracle. We still have a long road ahead of us but when we hit the two year mark of you being seizure free, I think I really will climb on top of the roof to celebrate. Or maybe just take you to Disney.
The last 6 months have been exciting and challenging as you have successfully turned into a toddler. We wondered if you would ever walk as you waited just long enough to make me start to worry. But then you took off and now I have a hard time keeping up with you. In fact you like to move so much that running errands with you has become very difficult. The fact that you don't want to hold still coupled with the fact that I can't give you anything to eat in the shopping cart usually leaves me wanting to pull out my hair and buy some really good ear plugs. And we are at the grocery store several times a week because we always seem to need some kind of magic food for your diet.
You have also developed quite the vocabulary and are like a little parrot. The other evening we were driving home and got passed by a motorcycle that was going at least 100. Daddy yelled "idiot" really loudly and you promptly repeated it. It was very hard not to laugh. Thankfully, you haven't said it since and neither has daddy. You pick some funny words to say too, like purple and cracker. You don't eat crackers so I have no idea why you say it or what it means. You will also sit a the piano and play and sing, which is really stinkin' cute. I love it when you are in your crib in the mornings and you start singing the dada song. You make it up as you go along and it is clearly a song about dada. You could make up a song about mama on occasion too.
And speaking of your crib, lets talk about sleep for a moment. I really REALLY appreciate it when you sleep until at least 7. I can't complain about 6 because for months you woke up at 5 on the dot but on days when you sleep until 8 or 8:30, I feel like I've won the lottery. Because I'm up late preparing your meals, cooking, putting dishes away, weighing out things and trying to figure out how the heck to get the exact number of grams of egg in the bowl because eggs are so dang sticky that it's next to impossible to get the right amount. A little sleep-in is much appreciated.
So my big boy, and when I say big I mean the average size of a 2.5 year old, we are still keeping a close eye on you between the heart tumors and the seizures (or lack there of). I'm still nervous and stressed and this parenting thing has taken me on a whole new road that I didn't expect, but I couldn't have asked for a better kid to go on it with. You are amazing and sweet and funny. I love how you say "weeeee" when you go down a slide and how at story time at the library you have to hug every other mom there, you little flirt. You make me smile every day and because of you I am so thankful for all that we have and for every day that I get to be your mom.
Love,
mama
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
12 months
Dear Jack,
Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. On this day a year ago when you were placed in my arms, after 27 hours of labor, all 8 lbs, 8 oz of you, my life was forever changed and my heart has forever belonged to you.
This year has been tough, really tough but only because of how much I love you. It has also been wonderful. It's been full of smiles, laughter, hugs and kisses. It has been the best year ever all because of you and I wouldn't trade you for the world.
Happy birthday my beautiful little man.
Love,
Mama
Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. On this day a year ago when you were placed in my arms, after 27 hours of labor, all 8 lbs, 8 oz of you, my life was forever changed and my heart has forever belonged to you.
This year has been tough, really tough but only because of how much I love you. It has also been wonderful. It's been full of smiles, laughter, hugs and kisses. It has been the best year ever all because of you and I wouldn't trade you for the world.
Happy birthday my beautiful little man.
Love,
Mama
Thursday, March 4, 2010
11 months old
Dear Jack-a-roo,
You are now 11 months old. I often find myself wondering where my tiny baby went. You tend to do big things the day you turn a month older and this month you took your first step. Aunt Kelly was here and you were excited to see her. I put you down, you stood, stepped towards her, and fell into her arms. It was a shaky, wobbly step, but it was your first and I'm so excited that so many people were here to see it.
You are a moving fool. You are into everything and everywhere and I wouldn't want it any other way. People see you and say, "wow, you have your hands full" and yes I do. They are very full and that's exactly how I want it. Trying to put clothes on you is like trying to put a sweater on a cat and trying to change your diaper has become almost impossible. Seriously, it's like wrestling an alligator. And sometimes you end up like this:
This last month you saw snow for the first time. It's rare here in TX and it was the most snow we've had in 6 years. Every time we come home from somewhere you throw a fit if you don't get to sit in your swing in the front yard. That day I had you bundled up and I put you in the yard. You tried to feel the snow with your hands but they had gloves on them so you did the next logical thing, stuck your face in it. The look you gave me after you tasted it was priceless.
Later that afternoon your GiGi came over and she pushed you around the yard in the recycling bin so technically you've been sledding too.
Your favorite activity by far is swimming. You are a fish! You have no problem going under water, holding your breath, or kicking. Daddy even says that you swim better than he does. You have no fear which means we have to watch you extra close. You are so excited every time you get to go swimming, it's awesome. I can't wait for summer time so we can take you to the lake.
I have lots of video of you swimming and I'm trying to edit it all together. We'll see if I can figure it out. It's so cute and impressive that it's worth me struggling with it to put together.
We also finally got a diagnosis as to why you are having seizures. We are told that you won't grow out of them and while that's a hard thing to hear, you handle them like a champ. You just go on as if they are no big deal and I'm trying to learn from you and do the same. I write them down, and go on. I don't make a big deal out of them because I don't want you to think they are something to be afraid of. There are a lot of frightening statistics with TSC but we're focusing on how amazing you are and how well you're doing. You are the light of my life and you will forever be my perfect little man.
love,
Mama
ps - If I'm crying a lot in the next month it's because you are going to be a full year old. I'm overjoyed and sad and have a lot of emotions mixed into it. Sorry, it's what mom's do.
You are now 11 months old. I often find myself wondering where my tiny baby went. You tend to do big things the day you turn a month older and this month you took your first step. Aunt Kelly was here and you were excited to see her. I put you down, you stood, stepped towards her, and fell into her arms. It was a shaky, wobbly step, but it was your first and I'm so excited that so many people were here to see it.
You are a moving fool. You are into everything and everywhere and I wouldn't want it any other way. People see you and say, "wow, you have your hands full" and yes I do. They are very full and that's exactly how I want it. Trying to put clothes on you is like trying to put a sweater on a cat and trying to change your diaper has become almost impossible. Seriously, it's like wrestling an alligator. And sometimes you end up like this:
This last month you saw snow for the first time. It's rare here in TX and it was the most snow we've had in 6 years. Every time we come home from somewhere you throw a fit if you don't get to sit in your swing in the front yard. That day I had you bundled up and I put you in the yard. You tried to feel the snow with your hands but they had gloves on them so you did the next logical thing, stuck your face in it. The look you gave me after you tasted it was priceless.
Later that afternoon your GiGi came over and she pushed you around the yard in the recycling bin so technically you've been sledding too.
Your favorite activity by far is swimming. You are a fish! You have no problem going under water, holding your breath, or kicking. Daddy even says that you swim better than he does. You have no fear which means we have to watch you extra close. You are so excited every time you get to go swimming, it's awesome. I can't wait for summer time so we can take you to the lake.
I have lots of video of you swimming and I'm trying to edit it all together. We'll see if I can figure it out. It's so cute and impressive that it's worth me struggling with it to put together.
We also finally got a diagnosis as to why you are having seizures. We are told that you won't grow out of them and while that's a hard thing to hear, you handle them like a champ. You just go on as if they are no big deal and I'm trying to learn from you and do the same. I write them down, and go on. I don't make a big deal out of them because I don't want you to think they are something to be afraid of. There are a lot of frightening statistics with TSC but we're focusing on how amazing you are and how well you're doing. You are the light of my life and you will forever be my perfect little man.
love,
Mama
ps - If I'm crying a lot in the next month it's because you are going to be a full year old. I'm overjoyed and sad and have a lot of emotions mixed into it. Sorry, it's what mom's do.
Friday, January 1, 2010
9 month news letter
Dear Jack,
You are now 9 months old. You are at the perfect age, I love it. You are so much fun right now. It's hysterical how you crack yourself up. And no one, at least no one that we've met so far, can resist your cuteness. And it's hysterical to see the expression on your face if someone in a store doesn't talk to you, you look at me as if to ask what is wrong with them. It cracks me up.
The beginning of this month was rough because it started out with you having seizures again. Through the magic of the internet and the iphone we managed to get the information that the doctor needed to him while he was out of town and get you into see him super quick. He started you on a new medicine that has been wonderful for you. So far you aren't having any side effects and it stopped the seizures so quickly that we're able to keep you on a super low dose.
In the mean time you are developing perfectly, which keeps me from freaking out. Over the last 2 weeks daddy has been off of work for the holidays so we've gotten to have some great family time and he's gotten to see how quickly you learn and change.
All of a sudden you are pulling up and trying to move around. You are going to be walking soon, which freaks me out a little but in a good way. You have also proven to me that I only though that the house was baby proofed. The speed at which you move and can get into things is astounding. To say that you are a full-time job is an understatement. You're abilities are quite impressive.
To add to that you had your first language burst. On Christmas day you started whispering "da da da da da". Now, only a few days after that, you started yelling "da da da da" and I even heard a "ma ma ma" and a "ba ba ba" and a few other things that I can't quite identify. But you have been quite the little chatter box this week and your favorite sound is "da da da" which of course has your dad wrapped around your little finger.
We've been doing some basic sign language with you and you've stared to do a few signs too. You do the sign for milk and the sign for more, though they look nothing like the actual sign yet, but you're getting there.
And let me tell you, you can eat. You must have hit a growth spurt because the amount of food that you can put away is impressive. And I am so thankful that you will eat just about anything, especially if it comes from my plate. Keep doing that, it will make it much easier on all of us if you don't do that picky toddler thing.
I am so glad that you have finally decided to sleep a little later. Of course now that I say that you'll probably be up at your preferred time of 5:30. And let me tell you little one, at 5:30 it's still dark outside, very dark. But over the last 5 days I've been able to nurse you around 5-ish and then you go back to sleep until 7:30 or 8. How you've been sleeping these last few days is how you were sleeping before the seizures started and I can not express how relieved I am that you are back to that now. I still hear you every time that you move and I still turn the video on the monitor on to check on you several times a night, but I suspect I'll be doing that until I know that all of this is behind us. Until then, the extra sleep is appreciated and it's so good to see you rested and full of energy.
So baby boy, you continue to amaze me. You are sweet, and funny, and perfect. I can not believe how big you are, how amazing you are, and how in love I am with you.
yours always,
mama
You are now 9 months old. You are at the perfect age, I love it. You are so much fun right now. It's hysterical how you crack yourself up. And no one, at least no one that we've met so far, can resist your cuteness. And it's hysterical to see the expression on your face if someone in a store doesn't talk to you, you look at me as if to ask what is wrong with them. It cracks me up.
The beginning of this month was rough because it started out with you having seizures again. Through the magic of the internet and the iphone we managed to get the information that the doctor needed to him while he was out of town and get you into see him super quick. He started you on a new medicine that has been wonderful for you. So far you aren't having any side effects and it stopped the seizures so quickly that we're able to keep you on a super low dose.
In the mean time you are developing perfectly, which keeps me from freaking out. Over the last 2 weeks daddy has been off of work for the holidays so we've gotten to have some great family time and he's gotten to see how quickly you learn and change.
All of a sudden you are pulling up and trying to move around. You are going to be walking soon, which freaks me out a little but in a good way. You have also proven to me that I only though that the house was baby proofed. The speed at which you move and can get into things is astounding. To say that you are a full-time job is an understatement. You're abilities are quite impressive.
To add to that you had your first language burst. On Christmas day you started whispering "da da da da da". Now, only a few days after that, you started yelling "da da da da" and I even heard a "ma ma ma" and a "ba ba ba" and a few other things that I can't quite identify. But you have been quite the little chatter box this week and your favorite sound is "da da da" which of course has your dad wrapped around your little finger.
We've been doing some basic sign language with you and you've stared to do a few signs too. You do the sign for milk and the sign for more, though they look nothing like the actual sign yet, but you're getting there.
And let me tell you, you can eat. You must have hit a growth spurt because the amount of food that you can put away is impressive. And I am so thankful that you will eat just about anything, especially if it comes from my plate. Keep doing that, it will make it much easier on all of us if you don't do that picky toddler thing.
I am so glad that you have finally decided to sleep a little later. Of course now that I say that you'll probably be up at your preferred time of 5:30. And let me tell you little one, at 5:30 it's still dark outside, very dark. But over the last 5 days I've been able to nurse you around 5-ish and then you go back to sleep until 7:30 or 8. How you've been sleeping these last few days is how you were sleeping before the seizures started and I can not express how relieved I am that you are back to that now. I still hear you every time that you move and I still turn the video on the monitor on to check on you several times a night, but I suspect I'll be doing that until I know that all of this is behind us. Until then, the extra sleep is appreciated and it's so good to see you rested and full of energy.
So baby boy, you continue to amaze me. You are sweet, and funny, and perfect. I can not believe how big you are, how amazing you are, and how in love I am with you.
yours always,
mama
Friday, September 18, 2009
More prayers needed
As you've probably noticed I didn't write a 5 month news letter and I haven't posted in a while. Well, right around the 5 month mark we when I got really worried and knew something was wrong and I couldn't think about anything else. I could have written about how Jack discovered his toes, and let me tell you, they are amazing. TOES! He loves them. And how he is rolling across the floor on a regular basis. I can't put him down and expect him to be there if I turn away. He's also pulling his knees up under himself and scooting a little but he hasn't figured out what to do with his arms yet. And the hair pulling, it gives me a headache almost daily and one of these days I'm going to go and just have it all chopped off so that he can't pull it. But speaking of hair, Jonathan put Jack on his shoulders the other day and was walking around the house with him. I spotted something on his shirt and it turned out the be barf, and it wasn't only on his shirt. Yep, Jack puked all over daddy's head. I was so proud.
Every parent expects to worry about their kid to some point, its just part of the package. As infants you expect to worry about the eating, bumping their heads, and how they just won't sleep. As toddlers you expect to worry about preschool, the things that are going to come out of their mouths in public, and how they just won't eat. As school aged kids you expect to worry about their grades, who they hang out with, and how they just won't do their homework. And as teenagers you expect to worry about sex, drugs, and how they just won't listen. These are all givens and things that every parent hopes to get ot worry about. One hopes to never worry that there is something wrong with their baby's brain and that their kid might not be normal enough to get to worry about these things.
So the story starts about 4 weeks ago when Jack started having these little spasms. It looks like the startle reflex that they have when they are really little but it happens in clusters over and over again. When it first started they wouldn't last long and it was only once or twice a day. I called the doctors office on the 3rd day because I was worried. I've worked with a ton of kids and I know that some twitching can be totally normal but the was just a little too much for comfort. The nurse assured me that it was normal and nothing to worry about. I still worried. That was a Tuesday and Friday we had our 4 month check up (although it was 2 days before he turned 5 months old). I mentioned it to the doctor and she referred us to a neurologist just in case. We got out of there late Friday afternoon so I couldn't call the neurologist's office until Monday.
On Monday when I called they told me that they couldn't see him until December 15th. DECEMBER! I completely flipped out. I called the pedi back and left a message, the nurse called me bac, she talked to the doctor and he ordered the EEG. They said that if anything was abnormal they they could get us in with the neurologist sooner. By the time all of that happened I couldn't schedule the EEG until the next day. All of the delays were really getting to me. In the mean time the spasms were happening more frequently and they were getting stronger. He started crying between each one and you could tell by the look on his face that they scared him. I started writing everything down and even video taping them so I could show the doctor. I won't post the video because it's hard to watch.
I got the EEG scheduled for Sept. 15th and sent the video to a few people to watch. My friend Will who worked in a hospital for a while, my brother who's a doctor, and a friend from church who's a pediatrician all watched them. All of them were concerned.
On Tuesday the 8th we showed up at Dell Children's for the EEG. I had written the date down correctly but somehow I got it in my head that it was the day after Labor Day. Don't ask my why but I was convinced it was then. When they told us our mistake the scheduling person had pity on us. I told her that a week was a really long time to wait when my baby was having what I thought were seizures. She coudln't get us in that day but she took my cell number and gave me her direct line. Shortly after I got home she called me and said that they had an opening the next day and we took it.
The EEG went fine. We kept him up for a long time before we got there so that he would be sleepy. He cried while we had to hold his head still to mark where the leads would go but fell asleep before they got all of them on. I was able to lie next to him on the bed and he snoozed the whole time.
Our doctor was hoping we would hear something by Friday but the tech who did the EEG said that it could take up to 10 days. Again, a long time to wait. However the next morning the phones went nuts. I was rocking Jack and putting him down for his nap. As soon as I left the room I heard the phone ringing and I went to get it, there were suddenly 3 messaged left in the last 10 minutes. I called Jonathan back and he had talked to a nurse at the pedi's office, the EEG was abnormal and the neurologist wanted to see us that day. The neurologist who couldn't see us until December was suddenly telling us to just get to the office. This is where any parent starts to panic a little. I've just had a doctor tell me that there is something wrong with my child's brain. We had taken the jeep in for service that day and Jonathan had just gotten to work so we went in at 2.
The doctor said that the EEG was abnormal, he asked us what was going on, and we showed him the video we had taken. He diagnosed Jack with something called Infantial Spasms, a type of seizure in infants. He asked us lots of questions about Jack's development because usually when they see this it is associated with other issues and developmental delays. Thankfully, Jack is developing perfectly. The other good news was that the EEG wasn't quite bad enough for it to be infantial spasms meaning we caught it early. He suggested that we check into the hospital so we could do some testing and get him started on meds. He said that if we can get these things to stop he thinks that Jack will continue to develop perfectly and that he will go on as if this never happened. That's what we're praying for anyways. (And I suggest that you don't google it. Read the link if you want but google paints a very grim picture. Don't say I didn't warn you.)
One of his nurses walked us through the secret under ground tunnel to the hospital and got us checked in. The hospital stay was stressful. We got really tired of people coming in and asking what was going on. I can't even count how many times I had to re-tell the griggin story. The poor kid was poked an prodded by a zillion doctors and nurses but he was a trooper. We got him started on some steroids because apparently these type of seizures don't respond to normal seizure medicine. If the steroids don't work then we'll have to give him daily injections of a drug called ACTH.
I was told that I couldn't feed him after midnight because our MRI was scheduled at 8 AM and because you can't tell an infant to hold still he had to be put under for the procedure. I tried to wake him up at midnight and feed him but he simply wouldn't wake. At 4 he woke up screaming and hungry. After about 15 min of screaming the nurse told me to go ahead and feed him and that 4 hours without eating was enough. At 6:30 a tech banged on the door and burst in screaming that she was there to weigh the baby. I wanted to strangle her ass. My 5 month old baby is going to have an MRI in 1.5 hours, was sleeping soundly, and you burst in and wake him up. AND I CAN'T FEED HIM. I was beyond pissed and I sent her away without weighing him before I tore her eyes out.
The screaming started again because of course, I couldn't feed him. After only a few minutes of screaming this time the nurse came in and told us that the MRI had been moved to 11:00 so I could feed him one more time. The rest of the was was spent trying to console a very unhappy baby. The poor little guy didn't understand why I wasn't feeding him. Thankfully my parents were there to help entertain him a little. He loved the butterfly wall.
And he got a candy flavored binky which he liked. We dipped his binky in some sugar water and he would suck on that for a while. He napped some and at about 10:30 we found out that the MRI was being pushed back to 12:00. To make a long story short it was pushed back to 2 after that. If you're calculating, at that point it had been 7 hours since he had eaten. Not feeding a baby for that long is so not okay. He was screaming, I was crying and leaking, and it still wasn't over. They finally took us down for it and while we were waiting a doctor came and told us that there had been an emergency and we had to wait longer. This was by far my most stressful day as a parent so far. They gave us 2 options, either feed him and wait 4 hours or wait another 2 hours without feeding him. We opted to feed him. Then it was back to starving him and more screaming before they finally did the MRI.
And they were going to put him under and then start the IV and draw blood but because Jonathan had a bad reaction to a gas one time and we don't know all the details of that they had to start the IV first. I wasn't in the room but it took at least 3 times before they got it in. He also has another 3 poke marks that might be from trying too, I'm not sure. But my poor baby! He still has bruises.
The MRI was to make sure that his brain developed normally in-utero. Which it didi. And the blood work came back clear too. So basically they don't know why the seizures are happening. But the doctor insists that the prognosis is good.
Since we've been home and on the oral steroid life has been hard. We've both been sick. Jack has been super irritable, he thinks he's starving all the time, and he groans constantly. Well, when he's not out right crying he's groaning. His naps have turned into 10 minutes, if I'm lucky. It's been really rough, especially since I have no energy because I'm trying to get well myself. I'd love to take him on a long walk but I don't think I'd make it across the street right now. And my house has never been messier. I only thought that I didn't get anything done becore all of this, now I really don't get anything done. Even basic maintenance has gone out the window. Today was a little better so I'm hoping we're headed for better days.
But thank God I didn't listen to the nurse who told me that this is "normal". Thank God I didn't just wait until December to see the neurologist. Thank God we showed up a week early for the EEG. Thank God we have insurance. And thank God we caught it early.
So we're praying. We are talking to the doctors. We have thrown sleep training out the window, all of those hours we spent getting him to fall asleep on his own, gone. He even sleeps with me some now. He hasn't had any seizures for the last 48 hours which is SO great. He's a tough little guy and I'm sure we'll all make it through somehow.
We had a great doctors appointment today. The seizures have finally reduced enough for us to stay on the oral meds. If he doesn't have a seizure for a week then we will reduce the dose and go for another week. Yay! The ACTH (which was going to cost us over $7,000 out of pocket but an organization paid for it) is being delivered tomorrow. It's a long story, but we're saving it as a back up plan.
Every parent expects to worry about their kid to some point, its just part of the package. As infants you expect to worry about the eating, bumping their heads, and how they just won't sleep. As toddlers you expect to worry about preschool, the things that are going to come out of their mouths in public, and how they just won't eat. As school aged kids you expect to worry about their grades, who they hang out with, and how they just won't do their homework. And as teenagers you expect to worry about sex, drugs, and how they just won't listen. These are all givens and things that every parent hopes to get ot worry about. One hopes to never worry that there is something wrong with their baby's brain and that their kid might not be normal enough to get to worry about these things.
So the story starts about 4 weeks ago when Jack started having these little spasms. It looks like the startle reflex that they have when they are really little but it happens in clusters over and over again. When it first started they wouldn't last long and it was only once or twice a day. I called the doctors office on the 3rd day because I was worried. I've worked with a ton of kids and I know that some twitching can be totally normal but the was just a little too much for comfort. The nurse assured me that it was normal and nothing to worry about. I still worried. That was a Tuesday and Friday we had our 4 month check up (although it was 2 days before he turned 5 months old). I mentioned it to the doctor and she referred us to a neurologist just in case. We got out of there late Friday afternoon so I couldn't call the neurologist's office until Monday.
On Monday when I called they told me that they couldn't see him until December 15th. DECEMBER! I completely flipped out. I called the pedi back and left a message, the nurse called me bac, she talked to the doctor and he ordered the EEG. They said that if anything was abnormal they they could get us in with the neurologist sooner. By the time all of that happened I couldn't schedule the EEG until the next day. All of the delays were really getting to me. In the mean time the spasms were happening more frequently and they were getting stronger. He started crying between each one and you could tell by the look on his face that they scared him. I started writing everything down and even video taping them so I could show the doctor. I won't post the video because it's hard to watch.
I got the EEG scheduled for Sept. 15th and sent the video to a few people to watch. My friend Will who worked in a hospital for a while, my brother who's a doctor, and a friend from church who's a pediatrician all watched them. All of them were concerned.
On Tuesday the 8th we showed up at Dell Children's for the EEG. I had written the date down correctly but somehow I got it in my head that it was the day after Labor Day. Don't ask my why but I was convinced it was then. When they told us our mistake the scheduling person had pity on us. I told her that a week was a really long time to wait when my baby was having what I thought were seizures. She coudln't get us in that day but she took my cell number and gave me her direct line. Shortly after I got home she called me and said that they had an opening the next day and we took it.
The EEG went fine. We kept him up for a long time before we got there so that he would be sleepy. He cried while we had to hold his head still to mark where the leads would go but fell asleep before they got all of them on. I was able to lie next to him on the bed and he snoozed the whole time.
Our doctor was hoping we would hear something by Friday but the tech who did the EEG said that it could take up to 10 days. Again, a long time to wait. However the next morning the phones went nuts. I was rocking Jack and putting him down for his nap. As soon as I left the room I heard the phone ringing and I went to get it, there were suddenly 3 messaged left in the last 10 minutes. I called Jonathan back and he had talked to a nurse at the pedi's office, the EEG was abnormal and the neurologist wanted to see us that day. The neurologist who couldn't see us until December was suddenly telling us to just get to the office. This is where any parent starts to panic a little. I've just had a doctor tell me that there is something wrong with my child's brain. We had taken the jeep in for service that day and Jonathan had just gotten to work so we went in at 2.
The doctor said that the EEG was abnormal, he asked us what was going on, and we showed him the video we had taken. He diagnosed Jack with something called Infantial Spasms, a type of seizure in infants. He asked us lots of questions about Jack's development because usually when they see this it is associated with other issues and developmental delays. Thankfully, Jack is developing perfectly. The other good news was that the EEG wasn't quite bad enough for it to be infantial spasms meaning we caught it early. He suggested that we check into the hospital so we could do some testing and get him started on meds. He said that if we can get these things to stop he thinks that Jack will continue to develop perfectly and that he will go on as if this never happened. That's what we're praying for anyways. (And I suggest that you don't google it. Read the link if you want but google paints a very grim picture. Don't say I didn't warn you.)
One of his nurses walked us through the secret under ground tunnel to the hospital and got us checked in. The hospital stay was stressful. We got really tired of people coming in and asking what was going on. I can't even count how many times I had to re-tell the griggin story. The poor kid was poked an prodded by a zillion doctors and nurses but he was a trooper. We got him started on some steroids because apparently these type of seizures don't respond to normal seizure medicine. If the steroids don't work then we'll have to give him daily injections of a drug called ACTH.
I was told that I couldn't feed him after midnight because our MRI was scheduled at 8 AM and because you can't tell an infant to hold still he had to be put under for the procedure. I tried to wake him up at midnight and feed him but he simply wouldn't wake. At 4 he woke up screaming and hungry. After about 15 min of screaming the nurse told me to go ahead and feed him and that 4 hours without eating was enough. At 6:30 a tech banged on the door and burst in screaming that she was there to weigh the baby. I wanted to strangle her ass. My 5 month old baby is going to have an MRI in 1.5 hours, was sleeping soundly, and you burst in and wake him up. AND I CAN'T FEED HIM. I was beyond pissed and I sent her away without weighing him before I tore her eyes out.
The screaming started again because of course, I couldn't feed him. After only a few minutes of screaming this time the nurse came in and told us that the MRI had been moved to 11:00 so I could feed him one more time. The rest of the was was spent trying to console a very unhappy baby. The poor little guy didn't understand why I wasn't feeding him. Thankfully my parents were there to help entertain him a little. He loved the butterfly wall.
And he got a candy flavored binky which he liked. We dipped his binky in some sugar water and he would suck on that for a while. He napped some and at about 10:30 we found out that the MRI was being pushed back to 12:00. To make a long story short it was pushed back to 2 after that. If you're calculating, at that point it had been 7 hours since he had eaten. Not feeding a baby for that long is so not okay. He was screaming, I was crying and leaking, and it still wasn't over. They finally took us down for it and while we were waiting a doctor came and told us that there had been an emergency and we had to wait longer. This was by far my most stressful day as a parent so far. They gave us 2 options, either feed him and wait 4 hours or wait another 2 hours without feeding him. We opted to feed him. Then it was back to starving him and more screaming before they finally did the MRI.
And they were going to put him under and then start the IV and draw blood but because Jonathan had a bad reaction to a gas one time and we don't know all the details of that they had to start the IV first. I wasn't in the room but it took at least 3 times before they got it in. He also has another 3 poke marks that might be from trying too, I'm not sure. But my poor baby! He still has bruises.
The MRI was to make sure that his brain developed normally in-utero. Which it didi. And the blood work came back clear too. So basically they don't know why the seizures are happening. But the doctor insists that the prognosis is good.
Since we've been home and on the oral steroid life has been hard. We've both been sick. Jack has been super irritable, he thinks he's starving all the time, and he groans constantly. Well, when he's not out right crying he's groaning. His naps have turned into 10 minutes, if I'm lucky. It's been really rough, especially since I have no energy because I'm trying to get well myself. I'd love to take him on a long walk but I don't think I'd make it across the street right now. And my house has never been messier. I only thought that I didn't get anything done becore all of this, now I really don't get anything done. Even basic maintenance has gone out the window. Today was a little better so I'm hoping we're headed for better days.
But thank God I didn't listen to the nurse who told me that this is "normal". Thank God I didn't just wait until December to see the neurologist. Thank God we showed up a week early for the EEG. Thank God we have insurance. And thank God we caught it early.
So we're praying. We are talking to the doctors. We have thrown sleep training out the window, all of those hours we spent getting him to fall asleep on his own, gone. He even sleeps with me some now. He hasn't had any seizures for the last 48 hours which is SO great. He's a tough little guy and I'm sure we'll all make it through somehow.
We had a great doctors appointment today. The seizures have finally reduced enough for us to stay on the oral meds. If he doesn't have a seizure for a week then we will reduce the dose and go for another week. Yay! The ACTH (which was going to cost us over $7,000 out of pocket but an organization paid for it) is being delivered tomorrow. It's a long story, but we're saving it as a back up plan.
Friday, July 31, 2009
4 months old
Jack,
I will probably say this every month but I can't believe how big you are. I can't believe how fast time is flying by and I can't believe how much you can change in one month.
You are friggin' strong. You now want to sit up, none of this lounging around thing for you anymore. You want to see what is going on. Toys are starting to catch your attention now. You grab at them some and everything goes in the mouth. Oh, and you recently discovered that you have feet. FEET! They are really great.
Daddy went back to work and you and I are adjusting well. It's much more difficult to keep the house picked up now. When you're awake, you want the attention. And lets face it, you're so cute that it's impossible not to give it to you. You do let me get a few things done sometimes but I must admit that on more than one occasion I have put you on your changing pad and let you watch jumping Jack and I stand there and eat because sometimes, you do what you gotta do. But I figure that you really don't care if the dishes are done or the bed is made, you would much rather have a mommy who spends time with you than a clean house.
Rolling and squealing have been the new big things. You can now roll both ways. You haven't quite gotten to where you roll from one side of the room to the other but I have a feeling its coming soon. And the squealing thing is cute, but good God you can be loud.
What I have discovered is that every month is my favorite time with you. This stage right now, where your discovering what's around you and getting stronger, it's my favorite time. Just like last month, that was my favorite time then. I am soaking up every minute with you and I can already tell you that it's going by too quick. So can you stay this size and this sweet for just a little longer?
Love,
Mama
I will probably say this every month but I can't believe how big you are. I can't believe how fast time is flying by and I can't believe how much you can change in one month.
You are friggin' strong. You now want to sit up, none of this lounging around thing for you anymore. You want to see what is going on. Toys are starting to catch your attention now. You grab at them some and everything goes in the mouth. Oh, and you recently discovered that you have feet. FEET! They are really great.
Daddy went back to work and you and I are adjusting well. It's much more difficult to keep the house picked up now. When you're awake, you want the attention. And lets face it, you're so cute that it's impossible not to give it to you. You do let me get a few things done sometimes but I must admit that on more than one occasion I have put you on your changing pad and let you watch jumping Jack and I stand there and eat because sometimes, you do what you gotta do. But I figure that you really don't care if the dishes are done or the bed is made, you would much rather have a mommy who spends time with you than a clean house.
Rolling and squealing have been the new big things. You can now roll both ways. You haven't quite gotten to where you roll from one side of the room to the other but I have a feeling its coming soon. And the squealing thing is cute, but good God you can be loud.
What I have discovered is that every month is my favorite time with you. This stage right now, where your discovering what's around you and getting stronger, it's my favorite time. Just like last month, that was my favorite time then. I am soaking up every minute with you and I can already tell you that it's going by too quick. So can you stay this size and this sweet for just a little longer?
Love,
Mama
Monday, July 20, 2009
3 months old
(Originally posted June 29th, 2009)
Dear Jack,
This is going to short and sweet, just like you, because I'm tired. A lot has happened this month. We took a trip to the coast on your first vacation. It was great and you actually did okay in the car. We bought you a new car seat and a fan and I sat in the back with you. It all helped and somehow all of us survived.
You are getting quite strong and getting very close to rolling from your back to your front. You are sleeping really well too. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and checked on you via the monitor. It was 2 AM and you were in there wide awake! You were talking and smiling at the animals on the wall. It was super cute but it was also 2 AM, when you're supposed to be sleeping. I debated about going in and giving you your binky but I decided to wait until you fussed a bit... and you never did. It took about 20 minutes but you eventually sucked on your thumb and fell asleep. It was great to know that you could be totally awake and go to sleep on your own but also sad in a way because it's very clear that your newborn days are behind us.
Another bitter sweet thing that happened is that daddy got a job! It's super exciting because it means that I get to continue to stay home with you and that our life will continue as if he never got laid-off. It's a little sad because it means that daddy will be going back to work and won't be spending as much time with us. I know that we will all miss each other. It all worked out perfectly actually, just like you.
Love,
Mama
Dear Jack,
This is going to short and sweet, just like you, because I'm tired. A lot has happened this month. We took a trip to the coast on your first vacation. It was great and you actually did okay in the car. We bought you a new car seat and a fan and I sat in the back with you. It all helped and somehow all of us survived.
You are getting quite strong and getting very close to rolling from your back to your front. You are sleeping really well too. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and checked on you via the monitor. It was 2 AM and you were in there wide awake! You were talking and smiling at the animals on the wall. It was super cute but it was also 2 AM, when you're supposed to be sleeping. I debated about going in and giving you your binky but I decided to wait until you fussed a bit... and you never did. It took about 20 minutes but you eventually sucked on your thumb and fell asleep. It was great to know that you could be totally awake and go to sleep on your own but also sad in a way because it's very clear that your newborn days are behind us.
Another bitter sweet thing that happened is that daddy got a job! It's super exciting because it means that I get to continue to stay home with you and that our life will continue as if he never got laid-off. It's a little sad because it means that daddy will be going back to work and won't be spending as much time with us. I know that we will all miss each other. It all worked out perfectly actually, just like you.
Love,
Mama
2 months old
(Originally posted June 1st, 2009)
Dear Jack,
We've had a lot going on this month. One of the best things is spending so much time with dad. He got told to leave his job a month ago and as horrible as the timing is, it's also turned out to be really great. He now knows what everyday life with a little baby is like and the two of you are becoming great palls. It also means that I have some help and can usually get a little extra sleep in the mornings.
And speaking of sleep you are a little champ. Last night you went 8 hours between feedings. I kept waking up and listening for you. You've been consistently sleeping 5 to 6 hour stretches and I'm hoping last night was a preview of what's to come. Also what's really great is that when you're sleepy we can wrap you up, give you your passy, and lay you down. You do the rest from there. Sometimes we have to go in and put the passy back in but for the most part you put yourself to sleep. The thing that's so great about it is that we won't have to just put you in there to cry at any point. Because you know how to put yourself to sleep, when you wake in the night and don't need food you simply go back to sleep on your own. I love my cuddle time with you and holding a sleeping baby is the best, however it's not worth putting all of us through some stressful nights. You're very advanced.
But don't get me wrong, you have us wrapped around your little finger. You have started smiling and cooing which just melts my heart. You'll sit and cary on a whole conversation. We have no idea what you're talking about but I could sit and talk to you all day. And we're not the only ones in love with you, Baxter has become quite attached to you too. He cries whenever you cry, which is really annoying actually, but he's gotten better at going outside if you're upset. He sticks close to you but is very gentle. Lola will come and sniff your head too but she doesn't follow you around like Baxter does.
Personally, I think you're growing up too fast already. You are an easy baby and I want you to stay just the way you are.
Love,
Mama
Dear Jack,
We've had a lot going on this month. One of the best things is spending so much time with dad. He got told to leave his job a month ago and as horrible as the timing is, it's also turned out to be really great. He now knows what everyday life with a little baby is like and the two of you are becoming great palls. It also means that I have some help and can usually get a little extra sleep in the mornings.
And speaking of sleep you are a little champ. Last night you went 8 hours between feedings. I kept waking up and listening for you. You've been consistently sleeping 5 to 6 hour stretches and I'm hoping last night was a preview of what's to come. Also what's really great is that when you're sleepy we can wrap you up, give you your passy, and lay you down. You do the rest from there. Sometimes we have to go in and put the passy back in but for the most part you put yourself to sleep. The thing that's so great about it is that we won't have to just put you in there to cry at any point. Because you know how to put yourself to sleep, when you wake in the night and don't need food you simply go back to sleep on your own. I love my cuddle time with you and holding a sleeping baby is the best, however it's not worth putting all of us through some stressful nights. You're very advanced.
But don't get me wrong, you have us wrapped around your little finger. You have started smiling and cooing which just melts my heart. You'll sit and cary on a whole conversation. We have no idea what you're talking about but I could sit and talk to you all day. And we're not the only ones in love with you, Baxter has become quite attached to you too. He cries whenever you cry, which is really annoying actually, but he's gotten better at going outside if you're upset. He sticks close to you but is very gentle. Lola will come and sniff your head too but she doesn't follow you around like Baxter does.
Personally, I think you're growing up too fast already. You are an easy baby and I want you to stay just the way you are.
Love,
Mama
Sunday, July 19, 2009
1 month old
(Originally posted April 30th, 2009)
Dear Jack,
I can't believe you're 1 month old already. This last month has flown by in a blur of sleepless nights, lots of cuddle time, and an inability to get anything done but to feed and cuddle you. Everyone agrees that you are the cutest little thing. Of course your dad and I think you're the most beautiful baby ever. And sometimes we even "fight" over who gets to hold you. I've been completely enjoying holding you as much as possible and cuddling you, even when you sleep. I can only do this for the first little bit of your life because we want you to actually sleep in your bed and at this point in your life you are too little to actually form habits.
We do put you in your bed every night now. I never thought I would be one to co-sleep, not because there's anything wrong with it but because babies make so many little noises when they sleep. However the first night you were home from the hospital we found you in our bed, snuggled between us. It was the only way we could all get a little sleep at first. Now you stay in your bed until the early morning hours when you come to nurse and stay in the bed with mama while dad goes in the other room and gets a good chunk of sleep. Almost every night now you do a good 4 or 5 hour stretch and we all appreciate that. Four hours at a time is the most sleep I've gotten since you were born and as I can't wait for you to sleep through the night I will also miss our middle-of-the-night cuddle time.
At this point I think we finally have the breastfeeding thing figured out. You had no problems from the start but it's been a little challenging for me at times. Everyone says that it isn't supposed to hurt. Well, they're full of crap. It has gotten less painful, but it's still uncomfortable. The good news is that I think the hardest part of it is over and you are clearly thriving. I took you to the doctor when you were exactly 4 weeks old and you weighed 10 pounds and 10 ounces.
You also hit a milestone today. We were getting you ready for your bath and you were having some naked tummy time in the bathroom. While you were squirming around you rolled over by your self for the first time. That kind of this usually doesn't happen until at least 2 months for most babies but you are a little advanced. Daddy and I both cheered and I'm glad that both of us were there to see it. It's okay to slow down though, you've got plenty of time to grow up.
People always ask me if being a mom is different from being a nanny. And to some degree it is. The biggest difference is breast feeding. After that it's the physical reaction I have to you crying. It never did bother me when other people's kids cry but when you cry I leak milk and when you really get going it actually makes me physically nauseous. Those are the only differences so far. The truth is that I've been a mom for a long time, I've just been a mom without a baby. And the reason is because I was waiting for you.
Love,
mama
Dear Jack,
I can't believe you're 1 month old already. This last month has flown by in a blur of sleepless nights, lots of cuddle time, and an inability to get anything done but to feed and cuddle you. Everyone agrees that you are the cutest little thing. Of course your dad and I think you're the most beautiful baby ever. And sometimes we even "fight" over who gets to hold you. I've been completely enjoying holding you as much as possible and cuddling you, even when you sleep. I can only do this for the first little bit of your life because we want you to actually sleep in your bed and at this point in your life you are too little to actually form habits.
We do put you in your bed every night now. I never thought I would be one to co-sleep, not because there's anything wrong with it but because babies make so many little noises when they sleep. However the first night you were home from the hospital we found you in our bed, snuggled between us. It was the only way we could all get a little sleep at first. Now you stay in your bed until the early morning hours when you come to nurse and stay in the bed with mama while dad goes in the other room and gets a good chunk of sleep. Almost every night now you do a good 4 or 5 hour stretch and we all appreciate that. Four hours at a time is the most sleep I've gotten since you were born and as I can't wait for you to sleep through the night I will also miss our middle-of-the-night cuddle time.
At this point I think we finally have the breastfeeding thing figured out. You had no problems from the start but it's been a little challenging for me at times. Everyone says that it isn't supposed to hurt. Well, they're full of crap. It has gotten less painful, but it's still uncomfortable. The good news is that I think the hardest part of it is over and you are clearly thriving. I took you to the doctor when you were exactly 4 weeks old and you weighed 10 pounds and 10 ounces.
You also hit a milestone today. We were getting you ready for your bath and you were having some naked tummy time in the bathroom. While you were squirming around you rolled over by your self for the first time. That kind of this usually doesn't happen until at least 2 months for most babies but you are a little advanced. Daddy and I both cheered and I'm glad that both of us were there to see it. It's okay to slow down though, you've got plenty of time to grow up.
People always ask me if being a mom is different from being a nanny. And to some degree it is. The biggest difference is breast feeding. After that it's the physical reaction I have to you crying. It never did bother me when other people's kids cry but when you cry I leak milk and when you really get going it actually makes me physically nauseous. Those are the only differences so far. The truth is that I've been a mom for a long time, I've just been a mom without a baby. And the reason is because I was waiting for you.
Love,mama
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